BOB DAVIS ART

Architecture

Dutch Harbor, AK

A. Background

Architecture got its start in the 1970s in Scandinavia. Led by a group of "Modernists," the newly formed Architects Union in Europe set out to create uniform standards for buildings of all types and sizes. With a large measure of help from Christopher Alexander at the University of California, Berkeley, these new "Architects" created from nothing a whole new profession of individuals who guaranteed that from that day forth buildings would no longer be merely "buildings" but would now have the proud distinction of being "architecture." This was accomplished through a series of dictats and licensing standards that resound to this day.

In the 1990s, Architecture lost its "cache" and has since become the province of charlatans and snake-oil salesmen, literally selling "bridges" to unsuspecting big-city "mayors."

Bridge in Wyoming

The Architects have since tried to professionalize their profession to keep out this riff-raff, to no success.

But further back, looking to the past, it was not since Frank Lloyd Wright in the 17th century that there was anything that could be called a building design, although a valiant effort was made in the 1950s when various construction personnel tried their hand at the task, and failed. Notable was the concrete mixing specialist Alvar Aalto, who was also the precursor of the Scandinavian Unionists. Electrician Louis Kahn is famed for his attempts to incorporate electricity into buildings. Not to be forgotten is famed Hollywood hair colorist to the stars Frank Gehry; though he failed in his attempts to add color to buildings, he is now known now for the Academy Award Show stylings of Greta Garbo and Katherine Hepburn.

History of Architecture

Some day the work of the Ancient Egyptians in inventing the pure form of the pyramid and of the Ancient Romans in inventing the pure form of the arch will be recognized, but not yet. The prehistory of architecture could be said to include such notable figures in their day as the painter Michelangelo of Europe; Thomas Jefferson, 14th President of the United States of America; and skating sensation Katarina Witt of the German Confederation.

Bison, South Dakota

But the history of Architecture proper begins in a small salon in Sweden in 1971. October it was. Cold out. Very very cold. It was a Tuesday evening. I remember it even now as the icicles were forming. Fourteen men and two women sat on brown pillows, laid out in a semi-circle on orange shag carpeting, bathed in a greenish light. I brought the paper, whilst Svjord brought the pencils, and then we started drawing. We drew through the night, through the next day, into the next night, but not all night that night too, no. We stopped at around 11pm that night, as we were tired, and the drawings were starting to look a little silly.

We ate a large dinner of fish tacos and Tab, and then we departed. We separated, and took our pieces of the puzzle with us. We left that salon, and walked out into the very cold air, took our Volvos out and drove home, each of us to our own countries. And then we did the remarkable: we distributed the work around the world, spread the gospel of architecture to all the continents, and sat back and watched our efforts multiply, our eager drawings were sucked up by people everywhere, eager to become "architects." We were like gods in those heady first days. We were worshipped, deified; we had groupies and the sex was plentiful; we were pals with Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney, maybe Brian Wilson too, and we were interviewed by late night TV journalists in countries whose names I can't pronounce.

Casa Grande, NM

But somehow it wasn't enough. Sure, we made a lot of money, each of us in our own way, and sure we were national heroes, each of us in our own countries, but there was something missing, something about the endeavor had left us feeling empty, bereft, devoid of meaning. And so when the ideas we had disseminated had become tired and worn out already by 1980, we hid. We left the spotlight, and hid in the trenches, in the gutters, in the dark, dank bars along the Friedrichstrasse. We were no longer wanted by the Pop Stars, no more David Bowie sleepovers. We were no longer on Nixon's enemies list. Ronald Reagan came on the scene and it was time for us to fade out.

Flour Mill

But there was one last hurrah in store. It took place in New York in 1983, in a bar on the West Side, no names, no specific details, because things got out of hand. It was February. I remember it even today. February 22, 10:00pm. New York City, Chelsea. The frost had descended on the city in large snowy flakes of snow melting on the doorsteps and puddling in the hallways. It was too cold to walk, so we took taxis, each of us did, separate taxis, Yellow Cabs, and came together at the famed Avenue Bar, where Josh knew the doorman, and knew he would let us in. We partied that night until 4:00am listening to Grand Funk Railroad and Bread, and then we sat down in the back room, and we made a list, a small list, a list of the truths we had discovered in our few short years of fame, our list of Architecture in all its purity and exemplary finality. This list has lasted with us through today and will last longer still. It was on that cold snowy icy wet freezing-cold day on that West Side of New York that we came together that one last time and made our list. And so we are no longer hungry, and we are no longer destitute, and architecture will once again have a future; a day will come when we reveal our new plans, our new future...

But the world is not ready, sadly no.

Dinosaur

Size

The average city block is .34 hectares.

Tombstone, AZ

Timeline

4000BC: Egyptians design pyramids to the great consternation of the alien-conspiracy theorists of our day.

756BC: Greece Ascendent: the Parthenon is constructed, out of materials found left behind at Heliopolis by the aliens who used to land there. Surprisingly, in 1923AD, Lord Elgin finds marble figures and friezes in the basement of the British Museum that exactly match the Parthenon. This mystery was solved in 1962 by Sir Stanley Driverton. Sir Stanley located the bill of lading from 3000 years prior, proving once and for all the existence of alien civilizations living on earth and transporting important marble figures around the globe.

1971AD: The birth of Architecture.

2000 The Millenium Dome in England collapses, destroying everything inside. The project has failed, and now our Alien Overlords have been forced to abandon their project to perfect the human race; to make us better: Faster, Higher, Stronger. More body parts! Less indigestion! But no, no more, they are gone. We are lost... Lost...

Mining

Architecture Fun Facts

-Architecture has been proven to cure the Blues, and make us all look taller and thinner.

-Architecture has been used by terrorist organizations for recruitment purposes.

-Without Architecture, there would be no National Society for Historic Preservation - thus proving the adage that nothing good comes from anything.

-Mozart wanted to be an Architect when he grew up, but he did not live long enough to see the invention of Architecture.

-Potatoes make good construction materials - they're strong, rigid, perfectly formed, freely available at all dry-goods stores, and come in their own wrapper. They are fully insulating and generate electricity. And they're delectable.

Pipeline

This knowledge entry was written by BD, FG, LK and FLW.

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last updated February 19, 2007

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