BOB DAVIS ART

Pop Quiz

It has come to my attention that not everyone using the Bob Davis Knowledge Base on the "internets" is reading the Bob Davis Knowledge Base items with the attention they require. So the time has come for the Pop Quiz. Please pay attention to the rules, as they are important.

Rules:

1. Do not look away. Your attention is required. Hey, over here.

B. You have a total of 22 minutes to complete the entire Pop Quiz. You are allowed at most 3 minutes and 30 seconds for each question.

3. In the case of disputed answers, the good folks at the Annenberg Center will resolve all unresolved issues within 6-10 days, by parcel post, return receipt required. We recommend postal insurance.

4. Scoring will be based on the "Juniperian" System.

5. No cheating will be tolerated under my watch.

6. OK, now, pencils ready, set the timer, get set, and...

Are you paying attention? Hey you, over there in the corner, Steven! I'm talking to you! Turn off that cell phone!

OK, sorry, where were we?

Questions:

A. Multiple Choice Section

1. The square root of pi:

a. 3.14159/2

b. 16

c. 1.57

d. 1.88

2. The sum of the product of the divisors in the following equation, 2(3ab + 16c)/(a²+b²):

a. a+b

b. (a+b)/2

c. (a²+b²)/2

d. 16

3. In Moby Dick, the white whale represents:

a. Ahab's fears of mortality

b. Ishmael's dreams of a better life

c. Ejaculant

d. The coming effects of global warming on your family and the last hopes you have for refuge from this oncoming disaster of epic proportions.

4. If you were allowed 5 minutes in private with James Dean, you would ask him:

a. Why, why oh why did you have to die so young? Why?

b. Are you related to that Jimmie Dean Sausages guy?

c. What's the answer to question 2 above about divisors and stuff?

d. Did you really do it with Montgomery Clift? What was it like? He's so dreamy.

5. Star Wars is a series of six movies about:

a. George Lucas, and his obsession with his "white whale" Darth Vader, his lord and master.

b. The revenge that the Sith have enacted on all mankind for an obscure reference Lucas made to their obscure sexual practices in the 2nd movie of the series, also known as episode 5.

c. Something really, really important.

d. George Bush

B. True/False Section (answering truthfully, now)

5. Sometimes my mind wanders and I forget what it is I'm doing. Then I stumble around for a few minutes waiting for it to come back to me. True / False

6. On sunny days I like to skip out of work and go to the beach to catch up on my reading, especially Proust's Swann's Way. Usually I tell my boss that I'm home sick, but sometimes I tell him that my child is ill and I have to take her to the hospital. That usually shuts him up for the day. True / False

7. I feel pretty. True / False

8. Fox News Channel confuses me: Is Brit Hume really human, or a cyborg in disguise? True / False

D. Essay Section (250 word answers, please. Attach additional sheets as needed.)

9. Who is your favorite TV character and how they are just like your mother?

10. Why do you feel that you sabotage yourself in meetings when your boss is present? Your co-workers seem to have their act together; why can't you just calm down and show them that you really are competent too?

11. In the Matrix trilogy, why did Orpheus and Trinity appear to betray Neo to Agent Smith? Was there any other way to solve the riddle of the Simulcra without sacrificing the Brethren? Cite three examples in triplicate for your theses. Would your answer have been any different if you had considered the possibility that you are living in the Matrix yourself, blissfully unaware? Stoned, even?

12. How come you haven't called your Mom recently? You owe her a call from her birthday, you know. Go on, I'll wait here while you call her.

Scoring

Send your completed test, with proof of time constraints, to the Bob Davis Knowledge Base for scoring, based on the "Juniperian" System.

Llast updated February 19, 2007

Send any email corrections you may have to the "webmaster":

bob
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