BOB DAVIS ART
A. Background
Evolution is a complex and mysterious thing, a theory even, posited by Charles Darwin in 1788, that man and apes share a common ancestor known as Piltdown Man. Darwin formulated this postulation while on a trip to the Easter Islands aboard a well-known cruise-ship, the Tortoise. Once at Easter Island, he noticed the very large stone heads lying around, lounging, drinking lemonade, and variously described as "alien," "bizarre," "outrageous," and "poopy."
Since that time many people have taken Darwin's theories to their logical limits. The Republican Party of the late 19th century believed that Darwin's fancy theory would prove that the better classes of people, known as Republicans, were better than the lower classes of people, who shall remain nameless as the Republicans prefer it. However Teddy Roosevelt was shortly to prove this theory wrong, when he created the national Park System; thus forever keeping Republicans from clear-cutting and strip-mining their way through the natural resources of these most precious and beautiful of America's treasures and heritage that we leave to our children and grand-children. Unless President of the United States George W. Bush gets his way and the NPS changes their very mission statement to allow for development in the National Parks. But that's neither here nor there.
History
The history of evolution starts in the year -6433i3069w435.6w4u5l, when the earth was young. At that time, there was nothing on earth at all, for the earth was really quite young, so-to-speak. Then life appeared in the greatest story ever told. But first we need to go back even further in time, to the time before the earth was formed. Before the sun was a blazing hot ball of fusion-infused fire creating the vast stores of energy still being shot out of the solar system and into the surrounding galaxies to travel on forever and ever into the infinite and very distant heart of the universe, and beyond, to the very beginning of the universe. It was long ago, in a galaxy district very far away that the universe started up that one fine spring afternoon. It was the Big Bang that began the evolution of the universe in earnest. Lot's has happened since then.
First the universe was born, see, and then like it totally began to evolve as the stars formed out of the mistless energy of the formless universe. Then as the stars started to cool, see, like the people around at that time voted themselves onto a new planet, except for the losers who they voted off the planet and out of the galaxy entirely. And it was done, along with some of the heavens and the earth too. Then they voted for some light, and it was good too. Maybe too good.... So, like the entire universe was no longer formless; smooth and irreversible. Now it like had evolved into a vast expanse of stuff. Dark and scary stuff.
OK, so that takes care of the entire universe. Now we get to the good part. People. Humans. Well, more specifically the best part of all, Americans! Me! God bless us every one. Except for those that god has forsaken, according to radical cleric Pat Robertson.
Wow, that was a lot of evolving. And to what end you ask? Certainly Pat Robertson isn't the end of evolution as we know it, the pinnacle so-to-speak. Yes he is.
Size
Oh I would say evolution is very big indeed. At least as big as Central Park, say 65 hectares.
Alternate Theories
Not to put too fine a point on it, but there are many more evolution theories than can be accounted for in one puny article, even in so rotund a document as the Bob Davis Knowledge Base. But here goes.
This knowledge entry was written by BD and a cast of thousands yet to be born.
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last updated February 19, 2007
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