BOB DAVIS ART

The Parthenon

A. Background

The Parthenon is a building in Rome built by the Greek artisans of the day. Each artisan took a column to carve and separately and together they carved the Parthenon out of a mountainside in three months.

History

The History of the Parthenon begins in Ancient Rome, and before that in Ancient Athens, and before that in Ancient Egypt, and before that in Ancient Mycenae who nobody's every heard of so we'll start with Ancient Egypt.

It was in Ancient Egypt that the technology for building the great Parthenon was first discovered by the rulers of the III.5rd dynasty, the greatest of the Egyptian Dynasties to that day, and the best ever until the IVIth. They were visited by aliens who had great big spaceships and were able to make mysterious objects appear with the flick of a switch on their demolecularizerazer. And in that day these aliens, named Eb and Ob, decided to share their greatest of secrets with the Egyptian Pharoah Potentote. And the scrolls appeared:

Pharoah, it is written, was given the sacred scrolls of the alien gods Eb and Ob and these sacred scrolls were of a parchment very fine indeed; too fine, maybe. And on these scrolls was the greatest of calligraphy known. Pharoah studied these scrolls and learned their lessons well; too well, maybe. For it was written that stones are heavy and that people cannot lift such heavy things and that the subjects of the Pharoah would revolt if asked to work in the stone fields. And it was also written that there were people on this earth who were more fitting for this work, people more able to lift such large stones and put them in place; people known as slaves. And these slaves were used well by Pharoah and soon he had large stones in lots of places, piled high.

Thus was the lesson learned by Julius Caesar, Emperor of Rome in the days of the construction of the Parthenon. Ceasar captured slaves from around the known world, which was pretty big in those days, although not as big as it is today. And he put those slaves to work piling up the giant stones that make up the Parthenon. And it was very big - 4200 meters tall. And God was displeased that man had tried to reach up into the heavens, and so God knocked it down in size a bit, and scattered the people across the globe teaching them different languages to speak instead of that Roman stuff that was popular with the kids back then. And so today we have the blessing of the smaller and more compact Parthenon that was reduced from its original size by God in his anger and fury.

Timeline

6200BC Aliens land in Ancient Egypt

6182BC Aliens still hanging around Ancient Egypt

6152BC Aliens Eb and Ob reveal themselves to be gods. And not just any gods, but the gods Eb and Ob. Good god indeed.

5523BC Pharoah learns the secret of slave labor and uses it to pile large stones on top of each other.

4266BC Ancient Rome is discovered by Romulus and Remus while they were trekking to Azbakistan and back.

3210BC Ancient Athens is founded by the Order of Athenians with the task of protecting the new city from the Trojans.

2215BC The Trojans finally figure out a way to attack Athens. They succeed and Athens is sacked and destroyed never to be heard from again.

2214BC Ancient Athenians recover from the sacking of Athens and build a new and glorious city on the hill - Rome!.

1225BC Ancient Romans search out the ancient Egyptian secrets of the ancient pharoahs. They discover the alien parchment describing slavery, and get to work immediately creating their own slave society. They import slaves from around the world to the ancient Tigris River crossing where they are processed and added to the rolls.

612BC Finally, the time is ripe to start work on the Parthenon. The slaves are all lined up in a row and given their tools and a tube of handcream.

603BC The Parthenon is completed in time for the first Olympics. Celebrations. Happiness, Joy and Brotherhood the world over.

603BC God destroys the Parthenon in punishment for the hubris of mankind, and scatters mankind over the earth to learn new and difficult languages.

123BC The Parthenon is finally rebuilt as a 2/3 scale model of the original, no longer angering god.

Size

The Parthenon is not very big anymore, as it has been eroded further by the ravages of time. It is now about 4 meters by 3 meters, with a height of around 10 feet. However, it sits on a plinth that covers .082 hectares, a good enough size indeed.

This knowledge entry was written by BD and Perikles.

If you are using this for a school paper, please remember to credit the "Bob Davis Knowledge Base"

Images from about.com

last updated February 19, 2007

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